What women want

Each thing we release - whether it's a pair of shoes, an old grudge, or an outdated belief about ourselves - creates space for joy, connection, and new experiences.

Mel Robbins

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What is it about this Mel Robbins quote that urged me to headline it in my post, you may wonder. Well, the promoter is the billion dollar outdated belief that women specially in her role as a wife and/or mother cannot be or should not be selfish. Here being selfish is more in terms of awareness and dignity to ensure their well-being. That is why earning money is so important because more than just getting salaries, the job gives the lady a profile, an identity. 

How many Indian women prioritize their health and are concerned about their rights? How many among them take rest without guilt, eat a complete planned meal rather than what is left in the kitchen and/or stake ownership in properties? Experts note, they need to be mindful to make room for personal growth. Mental decluttering and self- empowerment are necessary tools to get an agile mind and robust body. And sisterhood, which is so often used, misused and abused in our tele serials, needs to be celebrated, observed speakers at an international conference held at a distant Mumbai suburb.

Women Development Cell, University of Mumbai along with Royal College of Arts, Science and Commerce held a one day international conference at the college campus in Mira Road. It is on Holistic Wellbeing of Women: Building Health, Dignity and Empowerment for an Inclusive Future.

This was held last month. I was a special invitee to this gathering to write a blog on it. Normally, such symposiums are either too pedantic or technical to interest common people like me. But I was compelled to sit through the entire session in the first half spanning over three hours. Though overwhelmed by the volume of the information and the wisdom inherent, I was still drawn into conversations with some students who attended the conference to showcase their findings. More on that in my future blogs.But I still need to talk about a very confident Alina Shaikh from the psychology department who post this conference has resolved to be financially independent before getting married. 

The chief guest was, professor and psychiatrist, Dr. Shubhangi R Parkar. The speakers include professor and lawyer, Dr. Sharmila Ghuge and social worker, Jyoti Mhapsekar.

A common refrain among most speakers were: solutions must be inclusive and dialogue sustainable. I particularly appreciated the importance given to the males: boys and men.

Right from the birth, in our society, segregation starts taking place identifying male child with blue colour and female with pink. And it doesn't end there. Gradually the segregation only gets bigger and bitter. There is segregation in attitude even in basic choices with women being easy targets: right from what to wear to when to reach home to primarily focusing on household work.

Here are some key takeaways - 

Waste becomes wealth when segregated. Because, then everything don't go to the landfills as a lot of waste gets recycled, thanks to the ragpickers. 

However, the next time you throw that acid bottle, take care to empty the bottle and wrap it in paper before throwing it. This will alert and protect the ragpickers who would otherwise burn their hand while picking up such bottles from spilled acid. 

Similarly, be conscious about not using plastic as they are non-biodegradable  and hence immensely contribute to our landfills. Methane, the gas that is nurtured in the landfills is 20 times more harmful than carbon dioxide. So why wrap soiled sanitary napkins in different plastic bags. Instead use paper. 

Merely getting education is not empowering. It will only happen when women get aware about their rights and empower themselves by doing some work that will earn them good money and  position. When there is sisterhood among women and when there are conscious males rallying around, progress in emotional growth and social life starts rolling in. 

Ideally, this post could have been a March 8 celebration. But since my birthday is on February 20, i.e. today, I am uploading it now. Let's celebrate being a woman and that too Everyday. 

Happy Women's Day!! 

#WomenDevelopmentCell #landfills #Methane #March8 #ragpickers # UniversityofMumbai 

The Brah(M)os: Beyond missiles

 Community is much more than belonging to something; it's about doing something together that makes belonging matter. 

Brian Solis 

                                               

Happy New Year! 

This is my first post this year. Hence this delayed greetings! 

A month through the new year, I flipped open my favourite nut boxes of memories and settled on a trip down memory lane almost around this time last year. The occasion was the 196th foundation of the Brahmo Samaj in Calcutta (now Kolkata), established through a monotheistic movement, whose pioneers were instrumental in ushering the Bengal Renaissance about two hundred years ago. It was celebrated in select locations in Kolkata, (also observed in Mumbai, where there are Sindhi Brahmos as well), within certain buildings that would house our Brahmo Samaj from day one. During this time, the buildings look resplendent in yellow and orange marigolds. These buildings are mostly located in North Kolkata and going by the popular parlance, are 'super senior citizens'. Over a hundred years old, these edifices are maintained well, at least the one I went to. The wooden seats are just like the pews you see in the church. There are no kneelers though. I am still hung up on those huge louvered windows (khorkhori janala). Wooden, slatted and usually green-painted shutters are an integral part of  Bengali architecture introduced during the British colonisation. My house in Kolkata still has these louvered shutters. They are so environment- friendly. You lift up the wooden slats to get some fresh air and put it back when the temperature gets cooler. Voila!!

As you, my esteemed readers guessed correctly, like the slats, Brahmo Samaj also came up in the colonial era. Programmes under the banner of Maghotsav started a little before the foundation day and continued beyond its birthday for a few more days. It is called Maghotsav  because the entire festival falls in the month of Magh. It is the tenth month in the Bengali calendar. People would love to dress on those days. We would put on our favourite attires. I wore a green silk saree when I reached 18 and applied some make-up, specially, foundation and lipstick. Those days, I would never step out without my Lakme lipstick. I still remember, one of my French teachers in Alliance Francaise would affectionately call me 'the lipstick girl'. 

Since our festival would inevitably fall in January, winter only added to the charm. It was about a week long carnival, complete with songs, sports, sale of clothes, books, bags, jewelleries, pickles, juices and jams. Another fetching  aspect of this festivity was the morning processions with pedestrians singing Brahmosangeet. Ofcourse this was when we were kids!

Indian history is incomplete without a tribute to our Samaj. The principal founder of our Samaj, Raja Rammohan Roy was celebrated across the nation as a visionary social reformer. Remember the abolishing of the Sati  (practice of widows being forcefully burnt alive on the pyre of their dead husband) and  the introduction of the Widow Remarriage Act? Ganga Rautela or Gangu, the scientist whose biography, penned by yours sincerely, once told me he had read about Roy in the library of his village high school in Uttarakhand in the 60s! Such is the reach of this towering personality.

Some images stay on. Like visiting the Samaj during this time was as exciting as hopping across Durga Puja pandals. 

Even today, the merriment are just like the yesteryears. As children, those few days were moments to savour and memories to cherish.  Take our free lunch. The food that was offered includes khichuri (a medley of rice and lentils) complemented with torkari (mixed vegetables), chutney (sweet but tangy condiment, usually made with tomatoes, sugar, dates and raisins and ofcourse rice pudding or payesh in Bengali. Additionally, we used to  buy these large eggplant fritters (beguni) sprinkled with rock salt. Last year, unfortunately, it got over before we could lay our hands on. It was priced at a measly Rs10 each. Another favourite section for us was the jars of pickles( Indian olive, Indian gooseberry, lemon, mango etc) and guava jellies. Earlier, there were guava toffees and pickled vegetables too. Now, discontinued perhaps as I didn't spot them. 

The programme through the years remain the same and yet different: Enriched with hymns and songs alternating with sermons punctuated with Sanskrit mantras from the Vedas. The songs were penned by Gurudev Rabindranath Tagore, his father Debendranath Tagore and other stalwarts of that time. In fact, like Rabindra Sangeet, there are volumes dedicated to Brahmosangeet. One-fourth of Gurudev's songs are categorised as Brahmosangeet. As is with his other creations, the words of these songs are filled with passion and compassion, will and wisdom, sacrifice and suffering. Long after our anthem song (Padprante Rakho Seboke- Let me be at your feet, O Almighty) sung by most of us in the audience as we all stand up in reverence when the curtain comes down to the over three hours programme, the words of the songs and the sermons envelope us with hope and fervour.

Even today, when I think of those moments, I get goosebumps. And in no place, our elders spoke of upholding any religion. Our yearly experience at the Samaj where we have also gone several times to witness Brahmo wedding and Shradh (honouring the dead), values sail in through imbibing rather than pontificating.  

 Infact, religious or community awareness was never drilled in us even in our childhood. We were and are Bengalis and Brahmos by birth which cannot be contested. However, it never restricted us from embracing certain aspects of Hinduism since my mother is a practising Hindu. As young adolescents, it was comforting that when my Brahmo school (Gokhale Memorial Girls' School) made our non-teaching staff conduct Saraswati Puja outside the main gate but within the complex compound, there was no agitation. Our teachers also never stopped or admonished us from or post visiting the puja mandap. We, school children would devotedly offer our obeisance to Maa Saraswati and enthusiastically claim prasad specially the bers.

So many thoughts, voices, colours and landscapes...they surface unannounced in the inbox of my memory when you least expect them to. Still I mostly revel in it. I hope this post reflects that happiness and informs you a bit about a little known 'ism' that is still going strong among a section of citizens who are mostly well-established in their chosen career and even in life. 

(All pic credits: Sudeshna Chatterjee)

#BrahmoSamaj #RajaRammohanRoy  #Maghotsav #PadpranteRakhoSeboke #GokhaleMemorialGirlsSchool #freelunch #SindhiBrahmos