They can not hear a woman's voice

  

A woman is the full circle. Within her is the power to create, nurture and transform.

Diane Mariechild 

                       

                                                                                                       Gajra Kottary

                                                                           

They cannot hear a woman's voice...

That is what an award-winning scriptwriter and author feels vis-à-vis contemporary hindi tele-serials and even films. “Over the last two decades that I have been writing for television, it is becoming more and more tough to show real women and their struggle on television. For one, there is pressure to keep the women looking glamorous, which is the manageable part. The difficult part is surviving the unreasonable pressure to have them fit into boxes”, observes Gajra Kottary, 57,  two-times recepient of the Apsara awards (Guild Awards) for story writing. 

Daughter of the famous classical musician, late Pandit Amarnath Chawla of the Indore Gharana, Gajra was born in Delhi and a topper at the PG (Dip)course in Journalism from the Indian Institute of Mass Communication (IIMC), Delhi. While she was working for several well-known newspapers, what touched me is her choice to work for United Nations Development Programme (UNDP) as a freelancer, that too when she was pregnant with her second child. Working for CHOICES means walking for miles, often on kucca roads, in the interiors of Maharashtra and Rajasthan to write on projects that would empower common people, specially women and children. Perhaps, that is why her serials like  Balika Vadhu (Colors) could talk about several uncomfortable issues so convincingly. For example, I still remember Anandi Singh's first experience of menstruation. Despite a movie like Padman, those Balika Vadhu scenes are still etched in my memory.  A woman's fear and discomfort were featured prominently and strongly in the teleserial.  Her serials hit at several such taboo issues. Another example is the protagonist's (Dr Simran Mathur) choices in Astitva-Ek Prem Kahaani (Zee TV). Even today and post actor Priyanka Chopra’s celebrity marriage, people still talk in hushed tones about older woman marrying a much younger man. 

Still, it is difficult to bracket her. Given a choice, she would rather be a nonconformist and gender-inclusive than a feminist with its foibles. Herein goes the interpretation from a curious and a courageous woman about being a woman in challenging situations, be it in reel or real life. 

Sudeshna Chatterjee in conversation with Gajra Kottary

     

The Questionnaire 

 You started of as a journalist in a newspaper, later moved in an UN sponsored magazine, CHOICES. Then a script writer and a television writer. Finally you became an author as well. At which stage, you could put up women's issues most prominently, freely and convincingly? Also, where could you see maximum results in terms of manifestation of that empowerment? And yet, would you describe yourself as a crusader or a writer or simply put, a rebel with a cause?

  Now that you analyse it this way, I see the pattern myself. There has always been a certain restlessness in me to express myself and give an audible voice to my opinions, to share my take on women's lives in all their complexity.

  Growing up in Delhi of the 70's and 80's, the only avenue available in writing was journalism. So, even while doing my journalism course at the IIMC, I had already started writing actively for Hindustan Times and The Statesman, as well as long distance for Eve's Weekly and The Times of India, based in Mumbai. I was never inclined towards writing about politics and the economy. It was always social issue for me. I did worry about sustainability since I chose to write about women in terms of a career in writing.

  Marriage and a shift to Mumbai, opened up new avenues to give vent to my urge for speaking up. Writing for CHOICES-the magazine brought out by UNDP was done in the phase when I had chosen to be a freelancer because my son was a kid and I was pregnant with my second child. It helped me get an exposure to rural India and its women. The women were also very receptive to me. It is a learning that really helped me in my understanding of the lives of real women in the interiors of India. But I yearned to speak to a larger audience and through a medium that could make a stronger impact. So scriptwriting it was. Parallel to this of course was this aspiration to become an author.

  But to answer your question about which medium I could put up women's issues most prominently, freely and convincingly, like life itself, there is no one perfect medium for all this. While TV gives one's voice prominence, it is not very free, nor is it a solo speak. And while being an author gave one true freedom of speech, it isn't as prominent and mass appealing as TV. So I keep alternating between the two expressions to keep myself satisfied.

   TV of course is the most impactful medium out of those that I have worked in, for the empowerment of women. But I still don't see myself as a crusader. A rebel with a cause might be a better description of me, as I just want to tell women's stories with empathy and sympathy so I could help sensitise both genders towards what needs to change.

 

You have been a writer now for over two decades. Among others, you have been a part of that archetypical tele-serial Balika Vadhu, writing 2175 episodes. How do you find the changing role of a woman in reel and real life in India? Also, how much do you see reality in the contemporary tele-serials and films? 

 Over the last two decades that I have been writing for television, it is becoming more and more tough to show real women and their struggles on television. For one, there is pressure to keep the women looking glamorous, which is the manageable part. The difficult terrain is surviving the unreasonable pressure to have them fit into boxes. Consequently, the  'real woman' is becoming quite a myth in Indian soaps. 

Layering of women characters, showing their grey shades, is challenging. They have to be either black or white if they are the prominent characters. I have often tried to manage the situation by giving interesting shades to other characters, making their stories compelling and real while having the main characters react to them. That was the pattern in Balika Vadhu, where the young and impressionable Anandi watched, for example how her Tauji lost his first wife to her multiple pregnancies due to a weak womb (a proven phenomenon linked to early marriage or child marriage). And then, how he married again and the struggle of his poor, young and mismatched wife. All this while, Anandi  did not fully realise how her life was going to be impacted by giving up the studies that she was so good at. But eventually when it all added up, Anandi was impacted and had to evolve. Ditto with Kalyani, the matriarch and Dadisaas of Anandi. How the sheer goodness of Anandi slowly transformed her (most important  character to me and my team) from being conservative to enlightened. 

 

                           

                                                         

                                                                                                 Balika Vadhu                                                                      

                                                 

These days, the TV industry is no longer a very sustainable model, with intensive competition from other mediums as well as from within. So there is desperation to succeed which is not healthy, creatively speaking. Hence, in that process, we, writers, do not have the luxury to take a realistic look at stories and characters, which I do miss. But I am trying my best to keep up with the times and yet not losing my voice.

 

You are a mother to a son and a daughter. Do you believe that the lessons that a child gets from a mother since his/her impressionistic years can go a long way in creating less of chauvinism among guys and more of empowerment among girls? Pl elaborate.  

Absolutely. Very well put. I have tried to be conscious and practice what I preach when it came to bringing up my son, Advait, and daughter, Aastha. If anything, my son sometimes feels that both of us have been stricter with him than with his sister. But that could also be because of the older and younger syndrome as he is the older one, and she was sickly as a child so the indulgent streak about her has continued to date!

I still remember how I would make my son help with the household chores and run errands for me when he was young. One of my neighbours, a Punjabi lady, told me that I was a bad mother for making my son do so much work and pampering my daughter.

But the result is that today my son, 32, is a fantastic cook and perfect at running his house anywhere in the world. My daughter, 29,  in sheer competition with him is slowly getting there! 

 

Why is it that even today and increasingly so, female child/ girl/woman harassment/torture instances do not create a stir like a racial/ religious divide across different media platforms, whether it is press, radio, television and/or social media?

 I wish I could tell you why Sudeshna, as it really bothers me a lot. I suppose it is because women are not present in numbers as big as men are in places that matter, where they can determine coverage about women. But it is also about men, not just women, deciding about that coverage - influencing what is important and what is not. 

 It is for this reason that I am always trying to underline the importance of being gender inclusive. While women can and should increase their physical presence in media and entertainment, we also need to have the men's hearts in the right places.

I have been very fortunate and personally met, worked and lived with men who are truly egalitarian, but I know that it is not the norm. I have also sadly seen women who are not humanists--though I know that saying this might not be politically correct.

 The whole issue of gender sensitisation is a chicken and egg syndrome. Once more people are sensitised, especially in media, they will work towards influencing others and it will have the desired ripple effect. So we all have to work towards it and I feel that when that happens, gender parity can be a reality.      

                                                                     

To speed up progress at all fronts,  inclusion of women in decision-making is a must. This is also the reflection from the President of India, Droupadi Murmu. Do you agree? Yes/ no, please elaborate and also clarify how much of gender equity/equality and sensitivity do you see among Indian men and women today?

The reflection from the President is bang on. It is absolutely imperative that women get to play an equal part in decision making. And this has to begin from within our families and in our homes.

 The family is truly the crucible of society and it is not enough nor practical that women can only work towards their cause if they are working outside or in positions of power. In fact it is okay for women to choose to be home makers for certain phases of their lives or even their entire lives. But in that case, they should not be treated with discrimination because they aren't bringing in the money--that should not be the arbiter. Women should be empowered enough to make their own choices, whichever way they want to go.

Things are much better now than they were a few decades ago, thanks to the information explosion. There is definitely more awareness and there are also more laws that are in place for the cause of women.

However and unfortunately, while we struggle for parity, we also over-objectify our women in the way they are often projected in cinema and TV.

The hyping up of the woman's physical form to titilate men runs the risk of reducing her stature from being a sensitive being to a sensuous object.

Not only that, objectification also influences women to conform to unreasonable pressures of always looking glamourous, even if they are not feeling good or comfortable inwardly. This is what I definitely think needs to change.    

The good thing I see in my children's generation is that there is a constant questioning and counter-questioning process at work with both genders, which is fine as a process. So I am hoping that gender parity will emerge as a result of this.    

                                                                                

                                                                                                        Book cover

                                                         

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