F. R. I. E. N. D. S

  If you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything. Muhammad Ali

 

                      Reunion

             Pic courtesy: Aditi Banerjee

It was beautifully coincidental. As I prepare to write my current piece, a dear friend of mine forwarded me a news item that talks of the result of a study on friendship. Yes, Friendship! It says a few good friends can usher a marked difference to our well-being. Specially among older adults, it is a stronger influencer on a person’s health and happiness compared to relationships with his/her family. I could not agree more. Though there were some pointers among some of my preferred people. A pertinent pointer was that in Asian families, friends take a back seat unless it is also a nuclear family. But then, how many joint families are there? Rising mental issues among people of all ages including children is said to be a direct result of increasing nuclear families where often both husband and wife are working out and/or children settling elsewhere in later years. Whatever the situation, I still feel, having few good friends is a must as they only enrich and thus empower our lives. 

Although the United Nations has designated July 30 as the International Friendship Day, India continues to celebrate this special day on the first Sunday of August every year. It falls on August 6 this year. But I guess, for most of us, friendship is honoured every day. As my friend, Suhasini Ahluwalia Mehta, today, wrote in a group chat, "Friendship is such a pure feeling of love, of acceptance, of reflecting each other's light, of gentleness and care. Laughing together. Crying together. Lending a shoulder. A hug. Being with each other. Standing by each other always. You know you are loved..." 

Recently, I was part of a school reunion with few friends. Once more, I went through a whirlwind tour of all these emotions and more over a span of four hours.

Meeting many of them after decades. I was overjoyed and realised even after so many years, the affection is deep and palpable. Here, of course, being part of a few friends helped, else I would have been lost in the crowd. We talked, discussed, joked, laughed…. In Bengali parlance, it is called adda- that evergreen, unadulterated, time consuming, bantering. Four glorious hours just wafted by.

We were at a café in muggy Kolkata. It was 4 pm. My school friends were mostly teachers – school/college. Which means they left home early after completing the necessary domestic chores, worked through the day and then hailed a cab to be on time. Some others chose to get their personal car. Other days, they would have commuted by local transport. One of my friend’s daughter pushed a classy pearl ear ring into her mother’s bag, been repeatedly tutored to wear the pair for the occasion. Most were in their chosen sarees, nicely tucked and pinned. There was Aditi Banerjee who set the mood, looking cheery and ever smiling ! Soma Chatterjee was looking resplendent in mauve; Sanchita Gupta, coy, in her pearly ear rings. Malini Ghosh looked radiant. When I asked her the reason – Love or Dove?(Remember that famous advert), she quipped without winking, “My husband would only be home on weekends as he worked outstation. So I got the much - needed space, the joy of which reflects in my face”. Whoever said or believe relationship does not need any space is a jerk. In one of the recently concluded popular tele-serial on Zee Bangla, Mithai, there was a debate on requirement of this space. Even psychologists recommend some 'me time' in every relationship. Perhaps, that is one reason, why the very busy, college professor, Jayeta Ghoshal Roy never misses a meet. Yes, to let her hair down. This is her 'Me Time'.  So straight from her college, Jayeta looked harried but happy too. Beside yours sincerely, the more spirited one was of course the comparatively slender Surupa Mukherjee. Actually, she was the heart throb of the party as she left us all in splits with her narratives of yester years! In the gender-neutral world that we thrive in, I guess this male chauvinistic epithet gets neutralised too! 

But despite our constant chattering, we didn’t miss out on the lovely ambience of our venue, Pancham er Adday - A Music Cafe  at Hindustan Park (Gariahat), Kolkata. People of all ages throng this cafe though Generation Y rules the roost. This is the city of my birth. I continued living here till my early twenties. But I didn’t see so many cafes then like now. In those days, meaning 80s and mid 90s, we would rather visit each other’s house. Our mothers would dish out our favourite finger foods and beverages. Now, across the board, I see people meeting out. So be it. We particularly enjoyed live music where a singer crooned RD Burman’s evergreen songs. The singer too was good. We swayed to the tunes, even lip-syncing, oblivious of the cool surroundings. I particularly enjoyed because the last time, I savoured live music was ages ago in megapolis Mumbai.

However, the food I find not so great for my palate. And worse, prices are steep. As one of my friends, pointed out, at Rs 400, a glass of Frappe, two fish fingers and a few honey ginger chicken nuggets is a bit steep and comparatively the quality is disappointing. The bill including our tips came to Rs 2800. We went Dutch. Even their shakes are a bit shaky. So amidst lovely live music, it does leave a sour note. Still if you need to order, we loved their piping hot and crunchy fish fingers and one of my friends found their cafe latte nice. 

As we proceeded to leave with happy but heavy hearts, what we took back was experience, something that is even peddled these days at hefty prices. To me, it was a bundle of priceless joy that I would savour in years to come.  Yes, the best takeaway meal we could ever havePancham er Adday- A Music Cafe.

                                

          

      Pancham er  Adday - A Music Cafe

      Pic courtesy : Sudeshna Chatterjee 

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